Monday, February 12, 2007

The Monday Melee

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Mice. Not in a girly "ew" way. Because the little bastards have invaded my living space, and it's just not on. This far, no further. Die suckers.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
The size of the pockets of pool tables in pubs. Close your eyes and bunt the ball in the general direction of a pocket and it's in. Five minutes later you're $2 down and it's game over and "Well that was quick. Want to play again?" It's a shameless rort, and takes some of the enjoyment out of a good pub game in the name of profit.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
The man from the real estate, for charging $40 to come out and do pest control. What's so bad about that? He put two handfuls of mouse pellets out, one under the stove, one under the kitchen cupboards, and that was it. I went to the supermarket and spent $3.50 to get twice as much as he put out, because the little buggers have eaten all the lot he put out.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
The fantastic admin assistant at the primary school who made sure I knew where the female staff toilet was and what times to avoid using it.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I'm a groover. I'll move to almost anything.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
My application to be a volunteer at the Blues and Roots Festival to be accepted. 5 days of work as a volunteer within the Festival in exchange for seven hours of free range. I hope I'm in.

5 comments:

GG said...

Hey groover, I have to ask: Why were you warned to avoid using the loo at certain times?

Good luck with the volunteer application.

Vic said...

Sorry, it sounds really ominous to have to avoid it, but it's just a consideration for the timetable teachers. There's only one female staff loo, so at bell times there's a bit of a rush.

dive said...

Nice choices, Vic.
You can fit half a dozen mice on a kebab skewer. Mmm … Crunchy!
And glad to hear you're using your skills as a musician (a true musician needs to know only three things: Where the bar is, where the loo is and how to fake "turning it down") Loo location is a must!
I love "Groover". One of my side-projects is an occasional band consisting of old session player pals. We go out as The Groovy Fuckers.
Good luck with the Blues and Roots Festival.

Vic said...

Groover is cool. I'd love to be known as that! And what a great band name - The Groovy Fuckers. I love it.

The fourth thing that has to be added to the things to know list is (for daytime activities) "Where the hell is the coffee round here?". There's probably room for "Where can I get a decent pie after the gig?" as well. Or is that just an Aus thing?

Vic said...

Update on the mice: I lobbed a few baits up into the roof, since I don't actually own a ladder to get there safely (real estate man had one on top of his van... grumble) and it sounds like the stuff is the most popular food ever. I've heard one being dragged around up there for the last five hours or so. Fuckers are having a party. The poor cat must have a sore neck from staring at the ceiling trying to figure it out.