Sunday, February 25, 2007

What is happening in my roof

A chain reaction is occurring above my bathroom, in fact I believe that it is directly above the shower. My senses will not let me determine exactly the source of this occurrence, as the urge to vomit is a little more overpowering than the urge for clarification.

This chain reaction is produced by a combination of elements, the main two being warm, balmy weather and a death in the household. That's right. This is what happens when you lob a couple of baits into the roof for vermin. I don't own a ladder, I just poked the manhole cover aside a lobbed a few blocks of Bromakil up there like grenades - accompanied with the cry of "DIE FUCKERS!"



It worked.

Hence the chain reaction. There are two gases that I've been looking up online that I believe to be present in my bathroom at this point in time.



pu·tres·cine (pyū-trĕs'ēn)
n.
A crystalline, slightly poisonous, colorless, foul-smelling ptomaine produced by the decarboxylation of ornithine, especially in decaying animal tissue.




ca·dav·er·ine (kə-dăv'ə-rēn')
n.
A syrupy, colorless, fuming ptomaine formed by the carboxylation of lysine by bacteria in decaying animal flesh.


Signs of this process were evident yesterday and continue today due to the following factors:
1. I had a hangover yesterday and the urge to vomit in the presence of the aforementioned gases was rather magnified.
2. As I mentioned before with regard to the Bromakil grenade lobbing incident that started this whole process, I don't own a ladder, so how the hell do I get up there?
3. Shouldn't the real estate be doing this? What the hell am I paying rent for? They'll get a call tomorrow morning (not being weekend anymore then) and cop it.

So I've got time to observe. What leads me to chemical descriptions is the question (still unanswered) of why do we identify the odour of decomposition as sweet? I was thinking of how to describe it here and the first thing that came to mind was sickly sweet. I find it interesting that something so foul can pop up on that side of the taste radar.

And if putrescine is slightly poisonous, is that a factor in the urge to vomit?

Probably the most disturbing thing is that in my searching I tried typing Why do dead things smell sweet? and the top result was a woman telling her dog that...
Evangelists don't roll in dead things.

2 comments:

dive said...

Hee hee! That last comment just cracked me up, Groover.
As for the meat in your roof? Over here we call that "well hung" (not in the knob gag sense). Country folk shoot stuuf then hang it up to go rotten before cooking it. EW!
So stop vomiting, borrow a ladder and get up there for some free "English" food! Spread vegemite on the corpses and they should taste fine.

Vic said...

So, Dive...
In anticipation of Vegemite-laden Aussie rat jerky I made a ladder - well, more like a staircase - of milk crates. These handy little fuckers make up the artistic and very functional base for my bed and have the added bonus that I can reef one out whenever I need it...

I poked my head up there and what do I see? A shitload of sunlight (no wonder this place is cold in winter) and a heap of really decayed insulation batts. Also, oddly, an old shelf. What do I smell? Fricking nothing. So I think this thing might have died somewhere under the bathtub, or possibly under the house, since the whole shebang really isn't joined up that well.

Anyway, it's somewhere that's proving to be a little more difficult to get.

Ahh, the thrill of the hunt.