Monday, April 27, 2009


Not long ago, a new headline popped up on my feed reader. All the swine flu pandemic media hysteria was bunted (tempoarily, I'm sure) down a notch to be replaced by:

Sri Lanka army ordered to stop using heavy weapons

They too must have an OH&S advisor.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

PhotoHunt: Protect(ion)

PPE:- Personal Protective Equipment


Here's Shooter, one of my workmates. He's exhibiting the typical PPE we're required to wear for the job. Hardhat, safety glasses, lace-up steel-capped boots, and because we tend to work with grease and chemicals, a disposable "sperm suit". Or, as Shooter likes to call them instead, an Oompaloompa suit.

Seems a bit over the top. Mostly. Until two days ago, that is, when I caught myself a beauty at a moment without the hardhat on. Consequently I buried an adjustment screw on a grease injector block more than a centimetre into the top of my head. A hell of a lot of incident reports, reviews and a suture later, I'm beginning to like the idea of having a chin strap to keep the thing permanently on my head.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Get Your Listening Caps On

Yes, you read that right. Get your listening caps on! Time to delve into the archives of Vic's Composition years.

This is the first piece I wrote for University. It's one I'm pretty fiercely proud of, too. The lecturer was a completely uninteresting woman who would demand all pieces to be played in class so that we students could "get input". Yet, the only input she seemed to give was to ask what the title was and what it meant.

She was a very accomplished pianist. I can barely get past Three Blind Mice when it comes to playing, so I asked if she would perform this one for me. Well... I don't think the old cow liked being put on the spot with that, because rather than the usual nothingness response she would give, she absolutely tore this one apart. Thanks, it's my first effort. Ever hear of positive reinforcement?

Anyway, despite her comments I like it. And to spite her, when we (our class) toured to another city to perform a selection of our pieces, I scammed this one into the program.

So crank up the listening caps and tell me what you think:
Catastrophe for Piano performed by Georgena Cooper.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Mum and LittleTyke

Ah yes, more from the recent archives of Auntiedom. My Easter weekend was spent visiting my gorgeous sister Kat and hubby Mike. And of course, the little bundle of wonderfulness that is my niece. LittleTyke.

Everyone was sick and overtired. Pretty much worn out. Poor LittleTyke was pretty ill and giving everyone a hell of a lot of stress trying to figure out how to best look after her, when she'd be fine one second and screaming the next.



Kat kept apologising to me that LittleTyke wasn't her normal self. I didn't mind one little bit. As far as I'm concerned, I want to know all the little nuances of who she is. If she's sick, that's her normal self at that time. That's how she expresses it. She wasn't the usual million miles an hour. She was placid, slow and sleepy interspersed with major tears.

Mother and Daughter

Mostly, could tell that she just wanted to be near her mum. Awwww.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Anatomy of a Linkfest

First up: Let's hit Google up about what the advantages of going gluten-free are.

In the descriptions we find this:
Many people may benefit from a gluten-free diet, including those with Celiac disease, MS, brain fog, seizures, arthritis, osteoporosis, autism, diabetes, ..

Brain fog? What the fuck is this?

Google? I feel a linkfest coming on...

According to Dr. Wilson:
Brain fog is extremely common. It affects thousands of people, children as well as adults. It contributes to school and work problems, low self-esteem, accidents, unhappy relationships and even crime and delinquency. Although it is common, it is not a recognized diagnosis, either in medicine or psychology.

Some people have been this way for most of their life and think this is normal. In other cases, it comes on slowly or perhaps almost overnight.

Fog? Maybe that's what's wrong with England.

According to what's-his-face, brain fog can be casued by just about anything from the wiring in your home to copper, to chronic illnesses, to food, to lack of grounding and even spinal problems. What a range.

But what do we mention here? Adrenal burnout?

And what's-his-face says:
Adrenal burnout can be the best thing that happens to a person. It is a wake up call. Often, some area of life is out of balance or alignment.

Addressing burnout is often the starting point for a deeper exploration of self. Rather than just existing as a programmed zombie, adrenal burnout may be the beginning of real living.

This was the case for me, and for many patients I have worked with. I suffered from adrenal exhaustion for a number of years. As I began to understand the condition better, I made many changes in my diet, lifestyle and most critically, my thinking.

I forced myself to do coffee enemas, to walk every day and to meditate daily, although I did not enjoy doing any these things, at first.

Woah. Back up. Coffee enemas? And saying that you didn't enjoy this at first implies that you sure did later. Sicko!

But what the hell? Google?

So the article in Wikipedia states that:
Coffee enemas are the enema-related procedure of inserting coffee into the anus to cleanse the rectum and small intestines.

No shit. Oh well, yes, shit. Definately. But tell me something I didn't figure out on my own!

Gerson said that coffee enemas had positive effects on patients with tuberculosis, and later even cancer. He claimed that unlike saline enemas, the caffeine traveled through the smooth muscle of the small intestine, and into the liver. This, he said, cleared even more the gastro-intestinal tract and removed more toxins and bile than a normal enema.

Yeah right? I still prefer my caffiene orally, thankyou.

But what's this reference article? "Colonic irrigation and the theory of autointoxication: a triumph of ignorance over science". Ha! This sounds like a cracker! Let's go!

Unfortunately I hit a brick wall there - the article is blocked to anyone who isn't a subscriber to the Journal of Clinical Gastroenterology. Damn. But I think I proved a valuable point today. See how little time it takes on the internet for genuine research of a topic to link on to shit? Literally!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

More Meme Slackness (Deal With It)

"Here's the rules--mention the person that tagged you (did that). Complete the lists of 8's (see below). Tag 8 of your wonderful blogger friends (usually don't do this, but I will!). Go tell them you tagged them (if I have time)!"

Now we all know that this is Vic's World.

Vic says:
Fuck the rules.
This is Blogville after all.
In a world without boundaries, rules are somewhat irrelevant.

So I'm not tagging. If you want to be as pathetic as I am and do the meme, go ahead and steal it. I did. Go ahead. Trust me, it feels good.

8 Things I Am Looking Forward To:

1. More sunshine. I was driving along with my arm hanging out the window this morning, feeling right and summery. The tunes were good and the weather was fine. Now it's all up and pissed off in order to make way for a preview of winter.

2. Watching LittleTyke continue to grow and learn. Auntiedom... It's made me fall in love with a baby. LittleTyke is the best. She can do no wrong.

3. The invention and wide distribution of intravenous coffee.

4. Making fresh gourmet pizza. Who knows when, but every time I think of it my mouth waters.

5. Gardening. I don't have a veggie plot yet, but the ideas are germinating. Let's hope they hurry up and take root because I need to get some seeds for winter crops germinating, too.

6. Losing enough weight to be able to look in the mirror and not think ugh, for fuck's sake you have to lose some weight

7. Beer. Always.

8. The day after tomorrow.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1. Yet again scored a free ride on public transport. I love that my station has no ticket machine. I get to raise my middle finger to the authorities and also spend the money I would have spent on a ticket on something far more worthwhile, like sushi.

2. I walked into a local photography gallery. Not much of a surprise, really. But this one was holding an exhibition of works by local photographers who are members of the flickr community. I got out of my shell enough to strike up a conversation with the founder of the gallery about it. We had a really open, easy conversation in a setting where normally I would have feared intimidation. I think how easily the conversation came kind of took me by surprise and made me forget to be self-conscious. The outcome: the guy looked me up on flickr and told me that he liked my work. I'm pretty chuffed.

3. Sadly, I did not invent intravenous coffee.

4. Drank tea instead.

5. Cursed my manager many, many times. I try to make an appointment with his boss, and he gives me every excuse under the sun as to why I can't. I try to resolve issues with him instead, and he palms it off on to his boss, who he has made completely unreachable. Good stuff. Much appreciated.

6. Ate sushi.

7. Grinned like a fool for having eaten sushi.

8. Resolved to continue to lose more weight.

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1. I wish I could settle on a plan for a garden and just get to it. I spent hours today doing drawings and contemplating where the sun goes the most. I need to revert to a good gardener friend's method of "just stick it in and if it grows it grows". As Nike says, Just Do It.

2. For one week I wish I could actually have a penis. I would have so much fun being given a whole new body part. I'm bored with all the other bits.

3. I wish to invent intravenous coffee. It's a winner, for sure.

4. Wave a magic wand and make it spring. I wasted summer and now it's raining and cold. This signifies icy mornings, multiple layers of clothes, miserable drizzly short dark days and massive power bills. The only positive I see being offered up by winter is the prospect of snuggling up under more than one doona. In fact a mound of them.

5. Retire the poor old Fuji FinePix for a more superior model camera.

6. Dammit, but I wish I could play guitar and sing simultaneously. Occasionally it works out okay, but I could never get a gig doing it. What's weird is that I can play and sing a little on guitar, but give me bass and all ability to even speak while I'm playing just disappears.

7. I wish I could be travelling. Right now. Tomorrow. Every day.

8. I wish I could think of something else to write.

8 Shows I Watch:

Huh? I don't even own a television. I worm my way into other people's lives to watch hours of Bones and the occasional other crime type show.

Stupid, stupid question.

It's Vic's World, so let's change it.

8 albums I'm granting listening time to lately:

1. Jason Mraz - We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things
Okay, so it's a bit poppy/easy listening. But it's just appealing that way. The music is cruisey enough to flow right into your soul and make something move inside you with you even being consciously aware that it's going to happen. Worth a listen on a warm summer evening.

2. Dave Matthews Band - Everyday
I keep coming back to this album, even though I am really only rocked by roughly half of it. The rest is clever but doesn't stick me right to the core in the way that some of the more brilliant Dave Matthews efforts do.

3. Lily Allen - Alright, Still
She cracks me up. The music is tongue in cheek. The lyrics are sassy. I'm in love... but I think she'd slap me.

4. Lily Allen - It's Not Me, It's You
Latest album: Sadly, not as good as the first. There are still golden moments on this effort, just they're less in number than on the first album. In adolescent style, I've fixated on one track with a sweetly sung little chorus of Fuck you, fuck you very, very much. The plus is that I'm not the only one. It's now our work anthem.

5. Medeski, Martin and Wood - Note Bleu
A nice best of album that just keeps me coming back. Funky, interesting, sometimes completely weird. It's everything I like to be, with a little more confidence.

6. Counting Crows - August and Everything After
This is an old friend that I bring out like a well-worn pair of jeans. I can slip into it like a second skin and feel completely at home with every inch of it.

7. Panic at the Disco - Pretty. Odd.
Apart the fact that Nine in the Afternoon shits me to absolute tears, I've been pretty clinically fascinated with this album. There's a real Sgt. Pepper feel to it. I'm not happy with committing to liking it yet. I think it's more one of those things you have to stare at and poke for a while to work out what it is, but you cannot just walk away from and forget about. Eventually you figure it out and make the decision to go with well that was a complete waste of time or perhaps the opposite of hey, that's really cool. Judgement is pending.

8. Black Eyed Peas - Elephunk
This is great for just rocking out to when you come home from work. I tend to like funky sounds when I hit the shower, but not overly complex ones. This is perfect. I challenge anybody to listen to Let's Get Retarded and not be moving along with it. You're just not human if you don't.

8 People I Tag:

This is Vic's World, remember? Steal away. You know you want to.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Quote of the Day

May you always have success in your quest to irritate those who you despise. -Ben Goode

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Dad and LittleTyke

Daddy and Jaz [Part I] Daddy and Jaz [Part II] Daddy and Jaz [Part III]

...all in a laid-back afternoon.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

PhotoHunt: Purple

It's been a while since I've done PhotoHunt, but what the hey. Sometimes you have to just up and follow the sign that says "Disappear Here" for a while.

So now it's all exciting and a challenge again. When I found that the challenge was "Purple", the first thing I did was look around my flat too see what I had in that colour. Funny, it's got to be my favourite colour, but I really only own a tie that is purple, and that's it in the clothes department.

My current sheets are that colour, but I'm not really interested in taking pictures of them.

Hmmph. It's going to be harder than I thought.

Then I looked a little closer. Dammit, I sit on it every day. Duh! My couch throw is a great hand-knitted mixture of different purples and a little black. Idiot! The answer is always under your arse if you look!

Friday, April 17, 2009


"The most important thing I look for in a musician is whether he knows how to listen."
- Duke Ellington

Think about that one. The context that I came across this quote in was a section of a book regarding jamming - getting together as a group to create music, to just play. To function individually toward a common, often undetermined goal.

For me, it echoes out into life. I think whether you know how to listen is the most important thing in any person.

Take my experience recently of hitting it off with a complete stranger while we sat and shared a section of gutter. We started off discussing a local point of interest and ended up talking about various places we'd lived, and a hell of a lot in between. This conversation wouldn't have been possible if we didn't have the skills to listen and respond accordingly. That tiny amount of time spent has become to me one of the best things that I have encountered lately - to engage in a fascinating conversation with a complete stranger.

It's one of the things I miss about customer service. There was more opportunity to meet strangers and hear their stories. A lot only had interest in telling, rather than responding. They didn't know how to listen, and I did. Cool, because I was being paid to do it, but it lessens the interaction. The few that you meet that converse, actually listen and respond in a cyclic fashion... They're worth their weight in gold.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Reasons To Smoke

No-one likes a quitter.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009


Today I found myself sitting in a gutter having a really interesting conversation with a complete stranger.

Life throws some weird things at you sometimes.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Postcards from Wallsend II

As promised earlier here are a few more shots of graffiti goodness found in Wallsend, Newcastle.

Take a walk along Ironbark Creek, which really turns out to be a storm drain, and you'll come across a few of these beauties:

A whole-wall collaboration:

[sabotaz] 80

The best portion of a wall that stretched forever (and also more of the face theme):

Facing Up

More of the face theme again, this time under a roadway.

Shout Out

Monday, April 13, 2009

Backyard Snail Relocation Program*

*also known as "Photographing a Better Snail"

Peering down the hole

Meet Mister Gastropod, our relocation test subject for today. Mister Gastropod tends to hang out on the fence. He'll move by gliding along on his foot, making his path slippery with mucus on the way. With this slippy gunge making movement easier, Mister Gastropod conracts the muscles of his foot in waves in order to reach amazing land speeds of 1mm per second. When he hangs out on the fence, though, he doesn't get into the movement thing very much. He becomes boring. He washes out onto the colourbond background too easily. He is not particularly photogenic. Hence, he becomes an ideal candidate for the Backyard Snail Relocation Program.

Mister Gastropod adapts to a change in location very easily. Unsuspecting, he will be hanging out on the fence and The Hand of Vic will descend, plucking him from his inphotogenic slumber and relocating him to a more appealing location. He will wait a few seconds in order to ensure that the Hand of Vic will not intervene and relocate him again. Then he will extend his stalks and check out his new home.

In this picture he's following his nose. Mister Gastropod has two sets of retractable "stalks" that he uses for his sensory needs. Much like us humans, the eyes are at the top and the sniffers are below. So here he's sniffing out any danger through the hole in his new leaf environment before he pokes his eye stalks through to get a look.

And after the shot was taken, The Hand of Vic rested, and will remain at rest until further relocations are required.

Sunday, April 12, 2009


Found outside a Newcastle brothel.

Purity I

Happy Easter!

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Postcards from Wallsend

Went for an early morning wander the other day in search of some cool urban art.

I wandered for miles around backs of buildings, edgers of storm drains and under bridges. This is one section I found - not particularly artistic, but a brilliantly coloured section of wall under a bridge. A great opportunity for a reflection shot...

The Writing's on the Water

Also nearby:


And poking his head out from the grass of the same bridge I scored the reflection shot at was this dude:

Hat Boy

More later!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Quote of the Day

I hope life isn't just a big joke 'cause I don't get it.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Blast from the past

Time is never time at all
You can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth

- Tonight, Tonight The Smashing Pumpkins

I've been brushing the accumulated dust off a few of the old albums I've accumulated. In listening to them, I think that I've also been brushing the dust off a few old memories, too.

One of the albums I've brushed down and breathed back into life is The Smashing Pumpkins' Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness, which is a two-disc odyssey mainly composed of polar opposites: fuzzed out anger, and sweet lilting love tunes. There's an overall attempt at hopelessness, but honestly it doesn't stick. What I find amazing is that even though I haven't bothered to keep the dust from gathering in layers on the surface of this album, all it takes is one listen to have it all come flooding back. You know what's coming in every song, you anticipate the opening to the next track, all those words are still tucked away in your mind ready to sing along. All without being aware that the knowledge still exists somewhere in there, dormant, but ready to rise given the need.

I think the lyric above - you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth - can be interpreted in a positive way. Yes, you leave a piece of youth with these things that gather dust in dormancy. But blow the dust off and it's still there waiting to be experienced again. In those moments, time is never time at all.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Alternative furniture

"London-based contemporary design firm Purves & Purves offered a flat-pack DIY cardboard armchair frame along with a package of grass seeds in the summer of 2006, promising outdoor furniture that blends in perfectly with your lawn. You assemble the 14 pieces, fill it with soil, sprinkle the grass seeds over it and watch your new Chia Chair grow right before your eyes. Interesting idea, but mowing it could be a challenge."

Wow! A lawn lounge room! All I need is a lawn coffee table to put my feet up on while I drink my eco-freindly beer by the light of the solar lanterns.

Come to think of it, I could even have an outdoor kitchen with a built-in dual purpose water feature/kitchen sink. Hell, it could have it's own super-fresh salad bar. Plenty of fresh, leafy greens. All you need, right there.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

More eBay goodness

****slightly used moustache in immaculate condition****

With a starting bid of $150 dollars and $4.20 postage.

Here is the product description:

Four month old untamed moustache, gingery brown in immaculate condition. Long enough to cover the bottom lip but curls nicely upon the top. Stylish and workable, endless possibilities.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Would you do this?

Trawling through the occasional weirdness that is eBay, I came across this wonder:

Item Specifics


I am selling a big space on my back, 50cm wide, by 75cm long for anyone who wishes to buy it. It would be a perfect opportunity for a small or large business to purchase the space on my back and advertise Their company logo, details and web address through tattooing. I will contact the press, once your purchase has been made, and have them cover the story through newspaper, internet and television news. This gives your business, major free advertising, not just on my back, but via the media who would jump at the opportunity to cover the story of the guy who sold his back for advertising. I will not get anything inappropriate tattoo'd on my back. To sweeten the deal, i will also throw in a 30cm wide and 15cm long spot on my chest as well for a web address, logo or ontact details. The offer isnt just open to advertising, but artists who want there work bought to life , tattoo artists who want their work and them selves exposed in the media.

The guy has put up a Buy It Now price of twelve thousand dollars. At first glance that's a lot. But from the picture provided, the guy is about twenty. Say he'll keep kicking until he's somewhere around seventy-five, as is the life expectancy for males around here. That's fifty-five years of advertising for twelve grand. It works out to be less than sixty cents a day. So this guy will live and die advertising your product for a pittance. Idiot!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Holy Shit it's a meme!

Run. Hide. Drool. Do whatever you do. I'm finaly excited enough to participate in a meme.

"Google your first name and the words: needs, wants, loves, hates, believes, wishes, sleeps, smells, eats, tastes, and realises."

Well, here goes.

I sifted through the first page of results and picked out the doosies each time.

Vic needs

SA doctors ready if Vic needs burns victims support
Well I know that I can be a fiery little bitch sometimes, but really you'll only get a minor scald if you get too close when I let loose. Nice to know I have a whole state on my side, though.

New canola variety just what Vic needs
Dead set? What for? Will it help me lose weight?

The Beast. Old Vic needs a home. No sissies.
This is from craigslist. I have to see more. CLICK.
"Take Vic home. Please.
I bought Vic to get through Winter (which we did) and now I want her gone. Love 'em and leave 'em I say."

Thank fuck that Vic turns out to be a car that David is sick of having sitting in his driveway collecting tree sap because I was getting a little worrie there.

Vic needs to find a new job
Yes, yes I do.

Vic needs coffee
Yes, yes I do.

Vic wants

Vic wants it all in one place
Well, not absolutely, but if I didn't have to go very far it would be perfect. Thanks for thinking of me.

VIC wants to see how you "Get Silly"! Show VIC how you "Get Silly"
And you can win a free smack in the head!!!

Vic loves

Vic loves Limp Bizkit
Um, sorry. No.

Vic loves Becks' '25 foot penis'
What the fuck? CLICK.
"It's huge. It's enormous. Massive."

Posh added: "If I looked like that I'd walk down the street in my panties too."

Victoria Beckham has a lot to answer for. And so does David Beckham, obviously.

Vic hates

Vic hates: Hangovers, having to work
Apparently Vic on Bebo and I have some things in common. Bebo is not one of them.

Victoria is not, and never has any ambitions to be, Sporty Spice. Like the majority of us, she hates the gym and is looking for the easy way out.
Yep. You said it.

Vic hates all sharks. This is a complete lie.
Yes. It is. Sharks are just going about living, and if present ourselves in their environment dressed as food, who can blame them for treating us like food?

Vic believes

Vic believes Barbie is the girl he wants to marry.
You're kidding? Marry a girl without any genitalia?
Fucking idiot.

Vic believes white sharks are killing whales and should not be a protected species
Ah, CORRECTION. That should actually read "Vic believes the Japanese are killing whales and should not be a protected species."
Much better.

Vic wishes

Vic wishes to raise with the inquiry the issue of “R” classifications for electronic games
Actually, I couldn't give much of a shit.

Vic wishes to record its disappointment and concern at the proposed reform
Well, I'm not an it. But I truly am disappointed and concerned that our government's attempt at economic reform consists of giving out our own tax money as a "gift" that appears to not even meet the requirements of our own constitution. We would do better with the country being run by a bunch of trained monkeys. And they could fling poo at our rivals.

Vic sleeps

vic sleeps about 19 hours a day and gets up only for meals
Sometimes I wish that were true. It's pretty much the opposite.

Vic sleeps naked to feel David’s skin
Oh, Posh. Are you sure that 25 foot penis doesn't get in the way?

Vic smells

A lot of people didn’t think it was possible for Vic to get his comeuppance
Including Vic.
Vic smelt a trap, apparently.

"You smell like Vic.", He made a face. "Or Vic smells like me."
well, if we all wear Rexona Men's deodorant and smoke, that's possible.

Vic smells the freedom of anarchy once more
Always. It's in the air down here.

Vic eats

Vic eats filth for breakfast
There's no need to be like that!
Typically I don't eat anything for breakfast. Don't even think about piping up about balanced meals and all that shit. Coffee will do.

Vic eats!
... is the title of a picture of some asian man taking a great gobful of chicken into his mouth from a bone he is holding. Congratulations, bud. You look like an idiot. And a pig.

Vic tastes

Vic tastes a "Belgian". Vic is a great sport.
Vic tastes a belgian beer? When it comes to beer tasting, I will always be a great sport.
Bring it on!

Vic realises

Victoria realises that there will be parents who have more than one rider in the family
Yes. It's a revelation, really.
It will change my life one day, I'm sure.

Vic realises ambition but needs big plate of chips
Google, how did you know?

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Project: Pair

A while back I bought an old beat-up drum kit from the newspaper. I've been dutifully practising away on it.

But some days...

Some days I just come home and flog it. I put in the ear plugs because I know it's going to get loud, and then I let all the pent-up work frustration out on this poor old kit. Weird thing is that I seem to play better when I put full emotion into it.

Project: Pair

Friday, April 3, 2009

Project: Pair

Project: Pair

[An object and the shadow created by it]

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Project: Pair

In continuation of the pairs theme:

Project: Pair

Safety glasses.


Yes, they have a point. I found that out the hard way one night when I was pressure blasting. Typically the water is heated and your entire body will cop a certain amount of splashback of heated, dirty water. Your plastic crappy safety glasses will fog up and be covered in beaded drops of mud, grease and whatever crap you happen to trying to remove from a surface. No windscreen wipers, so I tend to take the things off and squint instead. Well... used to. Until I copped a rather unfortunate splashback straight into my eyes of degreaser that I had sprayed onto the surface in question. I had vision problems - stinging sensation, loss of peripheral vision and light sensitivity - for days and it was all my own fault for not wearing safety glasses.

They're still yuck.

But important.