What it looks like when you blow up the earth

Witnessed recently at Bulga open cut coal mine.

If there is a blast nearby to where you are working at the time, you are evacuated to a safe position, where you can sometimes witness the shot being fired. Sentries are placed at the perimeter of the safe distance so that nobody can enter the shot zone. Radio silence is called, so that all two-way communications are ceased except for the shot firers. You can tune in and listen to it all being called and counted down while you sit back and watch.

The best thing here for me is that not only am I being paid while I have been evacuated from my workplace, I get to see some truly awesome sights (not to mention pass them on as best I can)!

Once the sentries are in place - which are just guys in four-wheel drives at every entry point to the shot zone - an all clear is given and the shot is counted down from ten. Depending upon your proximity to the shot and how deep it is into the cut you will hear it go off as a boom and a rumble. The higher up it is (this one is on the top of the cut) the better the sound seems to travel. The ground will shake for a period. Then it's called as all clear and off we all go back to work.

Monday Melee

Dammit.
It's the Monday Melee.
I have to appear to be intelligent.
Dammit.
I'll have to pretend I haven't spent the entire weekend away, drinking, dancing and generally having a ball.
Dammit.



More about that tomorrow. Hell, possibly the entire week.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
My neck is a beetroot roasted centre of absolute torture.
The sun was actually out.
I was in it for a long time.
I forgot what that felt like.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
I used stock photos from the beggining of the month for Saturday's PhotoHunt post.
I raise my beer in penance.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Have you ever opened up the cupboard where you've stored the fishing rods and discovered the fishing line has metamorphosed into the rats nest from hell? You know what it means when you discover it? You aren't going fishing this weekend. You give up on the idea with the complete shits.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
My golf buddy from Saturday for putting up with the fact that I hadn't played in over a year and I suck at the game anyway. He patiently watched me take twelve shots to evict myself from a bunker and didn't mind the swearing at all.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I don't wear rings unless I have a special meaning for them, and only ever wear one at a time - or none at all, as has been the case mostly.
I like the look of my left ring finger with the ring I bought on it.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
To get past Christmas, where I will be free.

The Monday Melee

And here we have yet another Monday Melee. Where the hell did last week go?

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
There's a few people in this town who I have just snapped with. When I snap it means that's it. Come near me and it is wordless anger. I will speak if spoken to, but I won't say a word otherwise. There's a few reasons for this, the first and foremost being that I have far better things to waste my time on that take precedence over me talking to them. It also betrays my anger. More than likely I won't unleash the torrent of abuse I'd love to direct at these people - I will be nice and therefore betray my actual feelings. I hate the anger.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Just plain bogus is the iTunes random selection. Some days it is brilliant, intuitive. I can throw on the music while I'm cooking and have just the right music, song after song. Here's the bogus bit: some days it is utter crap, and gravitates to the same utter crap. No, I am not in the mood for Steve Reich. Skip. Dammit, there's another. Skip. Ligeti. Skip. John Adams. Not while I'm chopping vegetables. Bogus.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
I want to see more art. I'm sick of the stupid Rhinocerous at the art gallery and the mouldy doughnut bridge gives me the shits. Bring it on. I can't wait to move - I've got my eyes open.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
The Hugnry Espressohead and Gayman for accompanying me on a photography mission that dragged them past snakes, spiders and through muddy paddocks in search of oddities and new perspectives. It was a hell of a trek but they seemed happy to come along.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I am anal retentive when it comes to packing boxes. Why is this good? My life will be packed away, categorised and neat and stored within the smallest amount of space possible, ready to be accessed when I next need to access it.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
To be gagged and blindfolded, tied to the bedhead by my wrists....

The Monday Melee

Ho hum.
Today the return of the weekly Monday Melee signifies that I am one week closer to blowing out of this arsehole town. Celebration is in order!

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Christmas Carols. The brass band I'm with plays them as part of the Christmas cheer fundraising efforts. Just before Christmas I think it is a fantastic thing - the band actually does a "pub crawl" where we trek around to all the different local pubs and play carols on a Friday night. But that's just before Christmas. The band had to play carols at a fete on the weekend just gone. Yuck. That slots in with all the falseties and commercialism that goes with Christmas and annoys the absolute hell out of me.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Why is it that kids are afraid to admit that they don't understand a concept to me during a lesson? In a`one on one situation they feel the need to fake it and answser me yes when I ask do you get it? and consequently have to fake it week after week until I find the source of the problem? What the hell is happening in the school system that these kids feel they can't speak up and ask for help as it happens?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
The speakers in my car are absolute crap. Since I have a tendency to groove out and sing at the top of my lungs while driving, I need a backing track at such a volume as to support (aka drown out) my vocal style. As soon as I push for a little volume, I get distortion.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
Honourary housemate IcePick for lifting my solid little form into the air every time he sees me. He seems so happy to see me that it just cause me to grin stupidly back at him.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I love to prepare a good meal and present it well, even if it is just for me. When I can be arsed to do it!

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
The package of online shopping goodness I ordered to just hurry up and arrive, so that I can stop stressing that the little ADHD shit from next door is stealing the mail again.

The Monday Melee

It's sunny and warm. The school I work at today has closed their music department for activities. I have the day off, so stuff it. I'm going to knock this Monday Melee out of the way and go take pictures of something pretty.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Washing. Every time I turn around the floordrobe has turned into a mountain requiring safety equipment to scale.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Ant-Rid. It does not rid the ants. They've invaded the kitchen... and the loungeroom. Lone stragglers can be found winding their way across the carpet. I'm sure they're just lost. But I want them ridded. Gone. And the stuff in the bottle that says it rids... It isn't doing the job.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Life would be so much easier if I was a bloke.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
The band I rehearsed with on Sunday for asking me to play with them. I walked into an unfamiliar situation at rehearsal and played well anyway. The gig this coming Saturday will be fun.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I can recognise the symptoms of a panic attack and call for help if need be.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
A man-style ring that fits properly.

The Monday Melee

So my week was suck a prick that I stopped blogging in favour of sleeping last week.
And then I had a fantastic weekend away where I stopped blogging in favour of shagging.
Go figure.

So today I'll try to get back on top of it all with the Monday Melee.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Being threatened to be evicted from my current home, which doubles as my teaching studio because there were complaints about rowdy occupant behaviour the weekend just gone. The pisser? I was not even here.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Energy drinks. I ingested five of the little suckers over a four-hour drive - after having three cups of coffee before leaving on the trip. Admittedly I arrived home at 5am this morning, but I still landed flat on my face in bed for an hour's deep sleep before work. I should have been bouncing off the walls all day with that much under my belt.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
There are two girls appearing to be playing Stud Wars within the lesbian acquaintances I have. It's fucking (literally) ridiculous. The only thing that is proved in that behaviour is the total lack of manners and regard for the feelings of others.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
Tuesday student Bassdude, for reducing me to a laughing, teary mess with his
Okay, I'll get it right this time... Hmmm. Gonna be a man. Suck it up.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I have painted toenails. For the first time. And I haven't removed the nail polish yet.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
A felafel kebab with hommous and tabouleh, and all the extras.

The Monday Melee

I almost forgot to do the Monday Melee today.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Imported vegetables. If it's not in season, don't eat it. It won't be much good after being flown halfway around the world, plus you're not supporting local produce.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Shred-head guitarists. Need I say more?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Holding a PMS party for one just isn't satisfying. I need to share my cheeses with a sympathetic audience.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
Zomb, the drunk guy I met at the Saturday gig. This guy came up to me and asked me to clarfiy something, because he'd made a bet. He bet that I was a bloke. Cool. Sorry, dude. You lost, but you made my night.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I've been practising a classical piece about confronting demons lately and it's coming together musically. It's finally taken on a personal aspect for me and that reflects in it's performance.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
A town with more people, more opportunities musically, and no ex-girlfriends from hell to taint it.

The Monday Melee

A while back, Dive from Small Glass Planet set the challenge of doing a single-artist lyrical version of the Monday Melee. I took the challenge and clean forgot about it for a while. So here we are, finally... A single-artist, single-album melee. The album of choice is Snow Patrol's Eyes Open, which I loved to bits, got over and then revisited this weekend. Thankfully, I still love it to bits.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Lash out first
At all the things we don't like
Or understand
- It's Beggining To Get To Me

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Get up, get out, get away from these liars
Cos they don't get your soul or your fire
- Open Your Eyes

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
- Make This Go On Forever


4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from A to where you'd B
It's only finger-lengths that I see

I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places
- Set The Fire To The Third Bar

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
For once I want to be the car crash
Not always just the traffic jam
- Headlights on Dark Roads

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy
- Hands Open

The Monday Melee

It's time for a Monday Melee already?
Again?
NO!
I want the weekend back!

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Budgie Smugglers. Aka Shitcatchers. Speedos. Those awful little swimmers that seem only to be worn by men who are really scrawny, or old fat bastards. Either way, if you wear them it’s a crime against aesthetics and you should be shot for it.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Phony is my appearance of good health. My ears are blocked and if mucus was a valuable commodity I would have the market cornered as a major producer. I feel as good as a freshly discarded tissue.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Only being able to squeeze a weekend or only a day in with the people I truly want to be around. It takes me that long to become comfortable and then I have to go again. I think I’ll just have to move closer to them in order to solve that problem.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
James Blunt for the new album All the Lost Souls. I’m captivated well and truly, even though I still think he’s a bit of a whinger. I just can’t not fall in love with a lyric that says
Valium said to me
“I’ll take you seriously,
and we’ll come back as someone else
who’s better than yourself”

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I do not own anything that has floral print.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Two weeks in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. With one other person. And possibly an internet connection.

The Monday Melee

Today is the day for getting through the meme backlog, starting with the weekly event of the Monday Melee.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Not being able to play guitar through injury. It's been a week of picking up the instrument and realising that it hurts to play every time, and having to set it down again. Without realising I find one in my hands - to the point where Cruiseydyke would look at me across the loungeroom and chip me with a dude, you're doing it again.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Centrelink, the government handout agency that does not recognise same sex relationships on a basic level. If you declare that you are living with others in the Rent Assistance, the next question is are you living with any members of the opposite sex? If you declare that you are, you get handed a form to fill out that asks if you own anything with that member of the opposite sex. You do not have to do this if you live with members of the same sex. I've actually posed the question, so what if I'm in a lesbian relationship and we own a house together? They don't care. It's not part of the guidelines. This would work in my favour if I was eligible for a benefit - my benefit would not be affected by the income of a same sex partner because that agency would not recognise her as a partner. But that blows. Why should I be any different?
Also, just because I might live with a bloke why is it automatically assumed that we own stuff together, which on a basic level means it is assumed that we are in a relationship?
How about changing it completely? To Do you live with your partner? If yes, do you own any assets together?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Living on top of a mountain range. I'm a water child. I was on the coast today, staring at fish through beautiful clear water at a wharf and I felt whole. I could have just sat there for hours, in the sun with the sea breeze on my face. There is something about the green countryside and the proliferation of water that just allows me to relax inside.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
The producers of Australian Idol for providing me with utter crap television for my viewing pleasure.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I try to be polite where possible. I knock, I ask permission. I just think it's decent.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
No drama. I hate drama. I hate getting emotional and I resolve not to. The laid-back Groover is here to stay. Rumours might fly around me, words can be said to me, bombs could be dropped in my bedroom but I am Vic, and that is all I need.

The Monday Melee

It's time already for the Monday Melee. Pigs on the Wing: A Week of Pink Floyd is now officially over and I'm going to go back to being my eclectic, non-themed self for a while.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Being scared that I will have to face an angry boss after calling in sick twice in a row with a busted shoulder. I shouldn't be scared, because that boss should not be angry. I busted it at work, after all, and it needs time to heal.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
The massage I had on Saturday morning to ease my shoulder pain. It unleashed more, leaving me in delirious agony for most of Saturday night.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Living in a share house. I love my housemates to pieces, and mostly I value that social life of being around people. But... I want peace, quiet, alone time. A space where I could have sex and not have to deal with the fact that everyone is going to know about it. A space where the only person responsible for the mess is me. A space where I can sleep with the door open even if I'm sleeping naked. A space where I can get up at three in the morning and play guitar if I like because I don't have to be considerate to anybody.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
Kel, the fabulous singer I've worked with for years in the context of a band. We sat on the back porch during Cruiseydyke's birthday bash yesterday and played and bunch of tunes, just me on an acoustic and her belting it out vocally. We communicate really well and lately we've been mucking about playing different takes on the standard songs just for fun. It never comes out the same way twice but more often than not we end up with a great version. Try Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know as a tango. It's great.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I make a kick-arse pasta salad. No two that I make are ever the same. It's usually an on-the-fly surprise chef job - those are actually the best. Yesterday's barbecue concoction featured leftover bacon and garlic, with the last of the capsicum and hard boiled eggs. Simple stuff. And it kicked arse.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
The end of this week to roll on, so that I can have two weeks of holidays from teaching. It's been a long term and I'll be glad for the break.

The Monday Melee: Pink Floyd lyrics version

This week heralds yet another take on the Monday Melee. Since it is the beginning of Pink Floyd week this version of the Monday Melee will be a lyrical one, and of course only containing lyrics from the aforementioned band.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
There's a silence surrounding me
I can't seem to think straight
I'll sit in the corner
No one can bother me
I think I should speak now
Why won't you talk to me
I can't seem to speak now
You never talk to me
My words won't come out right
What are you thinking
I feel like I'm drowning
What are you feeling
I'm feeling weak now
Why won't you talk to me
But I can't show my weakness
You never talk to me
I sometimes wonder
What are you thinking
Where do we go from here

Keep Talking – The Division Bell

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Oh mother tell me more
Why'd you have to leave me there
hanging in my infant air – waiting

Matilda Mother – Piper at the Gates of Dawn

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Are there any queers in the theatre tonight?
Get 'em up against the wall.

In The Flesh – The Wall

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
Into the distance, a ribbon of black
Stretched to the point of no turning back
A Flight of fancy on a wind swept field
Standing alone my senses reeled
A Fatal Attraction holding me fast
How can I escape this irresistible grasp?

Learning to Fly – A Momentary Lapse of Reason

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
And if you don't mind
I'll spend my time
Here by the fire side
In the warm light of her eyes.

Biding my Time – relics

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Will some woman in this desert land,
Make me feel like a real man?
Take this rock and roll refugee.
Ooo Babe, set me free.
Ooooo I need a dirty woman.
Ooooo I need a dirty girl.

Young Lust – The Wall

The Monday Melee

Today's Monday Melee - brainchild of fracas - comes in the aftermath of the APEC Australia 2007 Business Summit. After having it shoved in my face for the past week, I might as well write about it.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
"Our commitment to Iraq remains," pledged Howard, one of Bush's few remaining staunch war allies. "This is not the time for any proposals of a scaling down of Australian forces."

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
"Mr. Prime Minister, thank you for your introduction. Thank you for being such a fine host for the OPEC summit." --George W. Bush, addressing Australian Prime Minister John Howard at the APEC Summit, Sept. 7, 2007

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
"As John Howard accurately noted when he went to thank the Austrian troops there last year..." --George W. Bush, referring to Australian troops as "Austrian troops," APEC Business Summit, Sept. 7, 2007

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
"The Chaser's bogus motorcade of two black vans, a hire car, two very unofficial looking motorcycles and jogging security heavies remained undetected until Morrow and Licciardello got out of their car outside Mr Bush's hotel, where police grabbed them."

"The Government has made the point time and time again that we've got the most serious, the biggest security operation in Australia's history. We've got 21 world leaders arriving in the city at the one time and it needs to be taken seriously." - New South Wales Police Minister David Campbell.

Ahem. This is Australia. Any opportunity to take the piss out of something and we will.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I'm laughing at the circus that has been going on in this country this past week.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
"Firstly the need for a long-term aspirational global emissions reduction goal, and that is enshrined in the Sydney Declaration," Mr Howard said.

"Secondly the need for all nations, no matter what their stage of development, to contribute according to their own capacities and their own circumstances to reducing greenhouse gases."

The Monday Melee: Melee at the Movies

Today marks another spin on the standard Monday Melee, also dreamed up by fracas. It is the movie quote version this week, and I've been dreading it since the day it was announced.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
"What does that have to do with your ability to place a comma in its proper place or put a period at the end of a sentence, hmmm?"
Professor Phipps, Higher Learning

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
"I thought the purpose of education was to learn to think for yourself."
John Keating, Dead Poets Society

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
"One night there was something in my pants, like blood. My mom said, oh, hell, your period. This is where all the trouble starts. She was right."
Elizabeth, Prozac Nation

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
"She has a secret lover? Who?"
Casanova, Casanova

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
"Well, I play a guitar and make funny noises with my mouth."
Tex Malinson, Arizona Days

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
"Hug hug, kiss kiss, hug hug, big kiss, little hug, kiss kiss, little kiss."
Nacho, Nacho Libre

The Monday Melee

I can't miss the Monday Melee, no matter how much I intended not to blog this week. It goes like this:

I know I've been away the last couple of days, but there's a story...

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Once upon a time, Blogger Vic was extremely tired of working hard, questioning her financial direction and still fuming about the fact that a government department [whom Vic owed money to, admittedly, but that was a technicality] decided to liberate her tax refund almost entirely without notifying her that they were going to do so...

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
... which left Blogger Vic needing some down time. What does she do? Tells all the students that she has last minute Veggie shop work for a special event and disappears for an early-mark on the weekend to an entirely different location...

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
...This Blogger Vic, she drove a long way... And she has one regret: that she cannot drive that way every day. Not necessarily to the same location, but experience the drive. She recalls Terroni once said "I drove into perspective." and she wishes for this truism to occur on a more regular basis...

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit and name it if you can.
...Blogger Vic, after landing on the kindness, love and hospitality of others for two blissful nights, moved on and met up with the Brass Band for the State Championships graded competition. This band is a community band and Blogger Vic feels proud to be part of the extended family that is developing more and more within it...

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
...and she knows the effort of preparing for these performances has raised her level of her playing considerably.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Blogger Vic wishes for this story not to be crap, but knows that yes, indeed. This sory is crap. Spewed from an tired exhausted mind, but no excuses!

The Monday Melee: Melee In Rhyme Day

It's another little twist to the Monday Melee, this time devised by fracas. Next week is the Movie Melee...

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
A blind agony
a hatred
All this pain entrenched in me
resolution unstated

I will be okay
it's only fear
Just,... it leads my mind into a melee
where answers, behaviours, are unclear


2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Centrelink, the awful bastards!
Take your tax cheque before you see it!
A right and royal bunch of fucktards!
I like them not one little bit!

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Fingers of cold eating into the soul
No inclination to move
No inclination to create
No inclination to groove
this icy beautiful hole is taking a toll.

Unhealthy mind, body and thoughts
Need to be
Need to laugh
Need to see
without the sun it's a battle hard fought.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
I found him in a corner
This hidden gem guitar
I named him for her

Lavished care and attention on this love
I feel him purr against my chest
This instrument has opened up with my attention
From my heart I give it my best

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
Groover.
You can't help but be a mover.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Giggles and outright laughter
Tenderness and desire
More than a moment with her

The Monday Melee

Welcome to yet another Monday Melee. Translation: yet another weekend dead and buried.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Line Trimmers aka Whipper Snippers. The sound they make grates right through me. I suck at using them. There's a man using one outside the loungeroom right this moment and it makes me want to scream.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
It is no longer cheap telephone rates for long distance on Sunday nights. It hasn't been for years. My family can call me any time they please and it's pot luck whether I'm home or not. So why in hell do they call on Sunday night still? I have one aunt, two cousins, my parents and my sister in this country. That's it. I got spared the cousins last night but that was it. It turns my night of watching trash tv into one long session of family blah which really could be better dealt with if it was spaced out evenly across the week. Grab a timetable guys.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Noisy clocks. I love analogue clocks, but the one in the loungeroom is so loud that it acts like a metronome for my time spent on the couch. I find myself tapping to it, making up rhythms. But it means you can only really go at one of two paces - 60 beats a minute or 120 beats a minute. That's pretty damn restrictive.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
The entire brass band for turning up to a Sunday rehearsal. It's great that a D-Grade community band with members of all ages and all walks of life can come together and give up their weekend time for a common goal.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I will do anything for the people I care for. Not only that, but it makes me happy knowing I am that type of person.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Telepathy.

Monday Melee: Say It With Lyrics

Today is Monday Melee: Say It With Lyrics day - my own variation on the fracas Monday Melee.


1. The Misanthropic: Name something (about humanity) you absolutely hate.

All you fear, is fear itself
Check our your own back yard before you check out someone else

- Hercules, Aaron Neville. My Greatest Gift

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.

Well I'm here to tell you babe
The game you're in is just a game
So damn pretentious

- So Beautiful, Pete Murray, Feeler

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.

Is she your new best friend?
One day it will end, you know it will

- Sarah, Eskimo Joe. Black Fingernails, Red Wine

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.

Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me

- Cold Hard Bitch, Jet. Get Born

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.

I don’t think that kindness is a weakness,
I don’t have a problem with compassion

- Consideration, Reef. Glow

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.

When we seek and hide
When my hands are tied
69 positions and
whip cream all over my skin
lick you from bottom to root
love to get down with you
I am a sex-o-matic venus freak when I'm with you
And I will stop it only when you tell me to
I am the automatic easy freak all over you
And I will stop it only when you tell me to.

- Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak, Macy Gray, How Life Is

The Monday Melee

Today's Monday Melee comes to you from my lounge room floor, where this blogger Vic is currently stuck, immovable and in immense pain.

1. The Misanthropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Back pain. I will whinge, bitch and swallow tonnes of anti-inflammatories until this fucker settles back down. And finally, have a massage. It's caused me to take time off work (where I have no sick leave) and teaching (where I'm self-employed so I have no sick leave) and have to fork out money that I'm not making to make myself better. It's minor in the scheme of things, I know. But I will whinge even to the walls until it's better.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
When I booked in for a massage I was asked if I minded having a male massage therapist. Actually the quote is - he's a man. Do you mind? He's very good. I personally could not give a shit who it was, as long as they make me feel better. It leads me to think, though. Do men who ring up for a booking get asked this question? If this question is to cover their asses in regard to sexual harassment, it should be asked across the board. Where does the line get drawn? If I were to work there, would it have to be asked of the female bookings - she's a lesbian, do you mind? She's very good..

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Being asked by a redneck prick at the pub on Saturday night how much for a monkey rub?.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Country Energy, our local power supply company for scheduling a maintenance blackout on Saturday night. Thanks to you, Cruiseydyke and I came home plastered and thought we'd broken every light in the house. It will be a night we laugh about for the rest of our lives.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I'm happy, and I can love.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Kisses. Soft, light ones starting on my neck just in that point where my jaw and earlobe meet. Kisses that continue and work down folling the curve of my neck to my collar bone and finally, to my heart.
Oh bliss.

The Monday Melee

Today's Monday Melee is brought to you courtesy of Instant Coffee. Without it's assistance I would not exist before 10am.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Frangipani stickers on the back windows of cars. You're not individual. Every idiot and her dog is decorating their rear windshields with those cutesy stupid sprays of stickers. You know what it means to me? Warning: Bad driver. Two weekends on the road and I have been in several close shaves where I have been cut off by other cars.... with frangipani stickers on them. I know that it's a generalisation to lump all frangipani drivers into the same definition but I don't care. I will heed them as signs of danger and stick well away.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
Fuel prices. How come I can drive to the coast and pay a whole ten cents less per litre?

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
School is back, so I start teaching again this afternoon. I've been doing this for eight years, but every term I freak out that I can't do it. Today is an anxious and nervous day.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
My sister, for spending the entire morning yesterday walking along the beach with me and talking. Those times of catching up are the best.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I'm happy.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
The ability to be in two places at once. I feel like I have been in two places mentally for the past week, so I don't think it's much of a step to be there physically.