Admittedly, it's for a dress up night to do with the musical I'm in. It's been decided that we should do a Moulin Rouge night, which I'm a little excited about - the high points have been wearing a dress and then wearing a bikini top with a towel around my waist, so I've got to beat that on the stepping out of my comfort zone level - but as well I'm absolutely crapping myself with anxiety about looking like a fool for an entire performance.
So I've never bought the good gear before. I buy cheap from K-Mart. I've never spent more than fifteen dollars on a bra in a shop. I've had some given to me in years past, but they don't count in this story.
I walk in. I look at all the frilly bits of stuff hanging off display trees and my mind just goes into shutdown. The only thing I can do is get my self to the counter, feeling about as out of my comfort zone as a seventeen year old boy tagging along while his mother shops for sexy lingerie. Berating myself for being such a loser, I asked the lady for help.
Um... I'm after a corsety sorta.. thing.
Okay, what size are you after?
I don't know.
Well, what size bra do you wear?
Um... I kind of do the whole minimising thing... so I get the smallest possible sports bra just to... you know.. flatten them out. So... um... I do a ten in the sports bra or an eight in the sports shirty things.
Well. What size are you wearing now?
I've just got a size 12 sports shirt. (I had none of the others left - the weather is crap and the washing hasn't been done. Plus I had three layers over the top.)
For just about a year I've been wearing sports bras and doing the chest minimising thing. Couple that with weight loss of over fifteen kilos (I actually think it would be more if I hadn't started muscling up a bit as well - but I like that better), and you get the result of me not having a clue what size I am. Cup size has meant nothing to me for what seems like forever. I know I used to be a 16D once upon a more feminine time.
So she helped. She was nice. She told me how to do the thing up. She brought more when the ones I tried weren't fitting enough. I ended up being a 10C. Then she helped with stockings. She figured me out for a no-idea type. She got it all laid out on the counter.
Now, this stocking pack (called the Sexy Kit) comes with a G-string. You might not want that. Maybe you could give it to some special.
What the hell? Either she's got me sussed which is fine, or she thinks I'll look crap in a G-string.
Now, do you know how to attach the stockings to the suspender?
Umm... No?
Well you do this [and she shows me].
Oh, okay. That's mechanics. I can see how that works. Easy.
So I managed to get what I wanted to get. I didn't look at anything else. It just doesn't do much for me. It resembles rack upon rack of femininity that I just don't do. On someone else, yes. But I haven't met anyone that I want to buy lingerie for yet. I think I've got a hell of a lot of research to do before I do that sort of thing. Or I need to go shopping with someone who knows what they're doing, know me well and who's willing to teach me patiently just so I'm armed with a little more knowledge for the future and a hell of a lot less apprehension.
16 comments:
Salacious tease!
Ok so visual images cease enough to write.
Cup sizes not "fitting enough"? :)
Bra shopping is a nightmare at the best of times. I always have images of that creepy old lady who was 106 with cold claw hands at David Jones when i was 13. Nobody wants to be felt up by someones great great grandma.
But as new experiences go, at least you got through this one. xox
Okay, Groover. Just how in the hell am I supposed to get any work done with that image in my head?
I've had a similar experience, but the pics of me as Frank N. Furter stay firmly in the box.
Kate: Cold hands and scary women definately don't work!
And you're only a tease if you don't do it.
Dive: I guess there's going to have to be real images later just so you can give your head a break.
Frank N. Furter? If not the pics, tell us the story!
So the truth at last, he's just a sweet.........
Wow. I'm impressed with this stepping out of your comfort zone exercise.
I, too, am rather intimidated by lingerie shopping. Mostly because they make very little for the body of a 12 year old boy, which is what I've got. They always look at me with such pity when they ask my size and I say, "Uh...almost A."
Then, they inevitable steer me towards the padded bras. I have to explain, "I'm not getting dressed for football, just sex. And, this isn't going to fool anyone. He already knows my boobs are not a cotton polyester blend."
That should have said inevitably.
Perhaps, someone should steer me towards an editor.
Okay Kate's lost me and I missed Terroni's mistake.
Time for bed.
Oh good lord, that's funny. G-strings bewilder me too.
Have fun with your musical romp.
I find those feminine ... specifics very useful, especially when it comes to UNhooking the garter belt, UNhooking the bra. ;)
I'm still waiting for the butch/dyke clothing company that will make comfortable & butch bras! no frills, no lace or bows or patterns, just solid colors, wide straps, etc. I guess that's currently a "sports bra" but I think those could be improved ...
Terroni: Hell, that must be hard to find what you want! I've always found the idea of padding a bit stupid because it gives false ideas. That's a little hypocritical of me I guess, since I like to make mine disappear rather than enhance them, so its an opposite of the same idea. But hell, we're all complex.
Sassy: I'll have an absolute ball with the musical - Friends, music, and alcohol. It's great.
Sinclair: I agree that the sports bra could be better for butch purpose. For going out I've gotten into a size 10 sports bra (the don't come any smaller on the cheap line of things) under neath a size 8 sports top - the type with the support bra in it. There's a thing about putting all that on that is satisfying in itself. It's not the best set-up, but it's become a little satisfying ritual for me.
dive said frank n furter and i started singing THAT song....with images. hmmmmm
Siclair: I went shopping with my girlfriend while she was visiting and realized for the first time how hard it is to find plain no fru-fru underthings. I kept bringing her things and she would point to this or that (small lace around the edges or a tiny bow) that I didn't even see. It was frustrating for her to find a bra.
Vic luv, do we get a photo of Moulin Rouge night? Pleeeeeeze?
Vic~ I was shopping for a belt today at a department store. As I wandered past the lacy bits, I thought of this post again and laughed.
Kate: So you had a good night then?
Nina: There will be - it's on Friday night. So I've got two more days to get scared.
Terroni: That's cool that I made you laugh! Hope the belt shopping was succesful.
Cheers,
Vic
you could say that, late blogging, late night texts hmmmm :)
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