Sunday, October 21, 2007

Bass Diva

I did a fill-in gig last night, where I was a replacement bass player for a band that plays heavy, original music. This genre seems to attract egotistical, self-centred musicians (using that term extremely loosely). Why did I do the gig? I only know of two gigging bass players in town who use five-string basses, and I'm one of them. The other is the regular player for this band, who couldn't make the gig. The singer is a friend of mine, so she asked me to help and I said yes. It's certainly not my genre of choice, but I can appreciate the music and have no problem with being able to play it.

Egotism in musicians is one thing I cannot stand. Arrogance about your chosen genre and your playing just cut you off from the rest of the musical world. That's why these guys form such a clique - they've got nobody else left who wants to talk to them.

I got the CD on Monday night. I asked for charts - why should I go about working something out from a recording when these guys know it already? They wrote it. Okay. So Thursday night is when I get handed a few pages of tablature of the riffs. No rhythms, no form, just a bunch of numbers. To me a chart is a sketch of the chord structure and a form showing the order of sections of the song. So basically the tablatures were handy for what the riffs actually were, but I was still at square one with everything else.

There was a full rehearsal with the band set for Saturday afternoon, with the gig Saturday night. In true last minute form I worked out the songs Saturday morning. I turn up to the rehearsal completely prepared.

I sit there and watch them fart-ass about setting up. [Tick, tick, tick.]

Both guitarists make eye contact with each other, but the only band member to look at me is the singer. Cues, anybody? I asked for them at the start, with specifics of where I'd need them. But no. [Tick, tick.]

The singer stops the band: "Is Vic playing the right bit in this verse?"
The guitarist: "Nuh"
Thanks for letting the singer point that out, asshole. You should have communicated with me there. [and the Bass Diva time bomb is set to explode]

"Oh yeah we do another song. It's really simple. Just follow along."
..."Oh yeah there's a bass solo in it."
So, Bass Diva is right on exploding point. What do you want the solo over? Verse or Chorus as you've got them so far?
"Whatever, man. Just make it up."

I left my explosion until after the rehearsal and the singer copped the full brunt of it. I'll keep it simple here - "arrogant fuckwits" "guitarheads" and "better things to do with my time even though they might not" was the guts of the explosion.

So I did the gig. Did my job, played well. Had fair few comments about how good it was from people in the audience. And did not recieve one thankyou from the band. Not one member. I don't think they even said goodbye when they left.

Was it worth it? I earned a total of fourty fucking dollars for all of the shit. But I know one thing now:

There is no place for arrogant cunts in my life.

7 comments:

Osbasso said...

Your problem stems from the fact that you weren't working with MUSICIANS. There are plenty of genres where those who play it have no clue what they're doing. Or can't explain it to others. Nashville is sort of the same way, but they came up with their own "language" which serves them quite well. Stand tall with the knowledge that you were able to perform in spite of them...

But for forty dollars???

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a truly miserable bunch, and a miserable experience for you. I have trouble taking the stage under the most prepared circumstances, so your night would have been a stopover in hell for me.

dive said...

Sorry, Vic; I'm still giggling.
Lessons learned:
Never do favours for mates.
Never work for peanuts.
Fuckwits are only there to point and laugh at.
Hey ho. Chalk it down to experience and move on.

Cap'n Dyke said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Well held, Me Ornery Groover...well held indeed.

Vic said...

Osbasso - it's a favour that will never get repeated. Not for any amount of money. Charities have the decency to say thankyou...

Teresa - I love it. I've had some brilliant nights winging it up there, but this genre is so riff-driven that you've got to know the bits and how they fit. That's the scary bit.

Dive - Thanks for my new saying: fuckwits are only there to point and laugh at

ahhh Me Cap'n - if me an' th'rum had been in partnership that evening, th'fellows may have had a little formal aplogisin' t'do.

Ms. Avarice said...

I think that's a good mantra for you right now, Vic. NO room in your life for arrogant snippy musicians.