Standing on the edge

Yesterday I stood on the edge of a rock at the beach and looked down past my toes to the waves below me. I looked down, past the still painted toenails that are a sadly fading physical reminder to me of the new world I seem to have landed in, that I have embraced and never want to let go. I looked down past those toes into the waves that swirled and crashed below.

Over the past few weeks I have known happiness, anger, sadness, excitement and uncertainty all contributing to - and also being a product of - my decision to leave the town I have spent the last eleven years in. This is the town I came to boarding school for and never left. Fear has been the most prominent emotion in the mixture inside my mind. I'm scared that once I leave the saftey net of Armidale that I will not be able to make it. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to self-confidence. Don't bother cutting me down, I already did that on my own, thankyou.

Then I spend my entire weekend in bliss. I meet new people who I like, I see new friends who are family and I see love that will only grow. I look down at those waves beneath my toes and I think bring it on! Bring on this world. I want to feel alive again. Go ahead! Crash against the rocks, splash me and wake me up even more to this place.

Bring on the world. I got the girl. She's there, watching me as I challenge the waves, and as I turn to her I'm smiling. I've got my eyes open, I've got nothing to lose and everything to see.