Saturday, November 3, 2007

Answering Kate's questions.

Why do you want to leave?
I haven't seen enough of the world.
I am not content to feel tied down in this town.
I am sick of having a circle of friends who seem to be preoccupied with who is fucking who and who gets to fuck who next.
There is rarely any live music in this town, the scene is dead in favour of the jukebox.
The bands I used to be in are split due to many reasons, however I won't get to work with the guiatrist again because he's fucking my ex.
My ex pops up in every teaching situation I seem to get myself into.
I don't like that the town is so small that my boss can be told what I've apparently been doing in my spare time, even when it isn't true.
I want to have done something other than live in the one town for my life - I know I moved here away from my parents' town, but I went to boarding school here so it's essentially the town I grew up in.
I love the mountains, but I am at heart a water child. Stick me on a river somewhere and I immediately relax.
I used to think that I did not want to move from here because I had great contacts in the music scene, especially for teaching - but you know what? I can build them up somewhere else too. It just takes time and a good outlook.
I want to be nearer to my girlfriend, so that seeing her is not a once-a month exhausting distance event, and so that she can feel that she can come to visit me any time also.
I am being chased by mistakes that I have made and it is far better for me to choose a clean slate elsewhere, given all the reasons I've stated so far.
With the possibility of being an Uncle Vic (I'd rather that than Auntie Tori or Aunt Victoria) I'd like to live closer to my sister in order to be involved in this child's life on a regular basis. It's somewhat exciting and pretty much my only chance because I won't have any of my own.

Do you want to leave town or your current living situation?
I definately want to leave my current living situation.
But finding a new home in the same place will not help with everything else...
So yeah, I want to leave town.

What is scaring you about going?
Fear of the unknown.
Choices.
Where do I go? What to do I do for work?
Will I make it?
How the hell will I go about making new friends?
I mean fucking hell - I'm a person who has trouble committing to a decision about what to eat for dinner.

What are the benefits of going?
I've wanted to get out for a long time, see new places, experience new things.
As a personal development exercise it will be a statement of I can and one more step toward quieting the inner voices that tell me I am a hopeless loser bound to ride on the coat-tails of others for the rest of my life. The ones that also say give up, this is as close to happy as you're ever going to get. Live with it.
I want to see things.
I want my eyes open.
I'll be okay.

3 comments:

Ms. Avarice said...

Anyone who tells you this is the best you're going to get has already settled for less themselves. There is always better, just be brave and pursue it. Brave is not the same as being fearless. On a similar note, settling is not the same as choosing to be content - if you are dissatisfied, there is always something you can change. You are already brave, act up! You're a treasure, vic. <3

dive said...

Vic, buddy, all I can tell you is that the world is not a big, scary place, it is YOURS! Do what the hell you want with it.
You're a great musician and a totally cool person. You're going to make it wherever you go.
Big is better for a musician. Move somewhere like Sydney where there is so much choice it takes your breath away.
And take it from one who has been there: whenever the wind blows you back through your old haunts, all you'll be able to thhink is "you poor, sad bastards. I know what you're missing."
Spread your wings, Groover.
It's time to fly.

Terroni said...

You're right...you will be okay.
In fact, you'll be better than okay.
You'll rock.
It's what the Groover does.