I've been living in an alternate time zone when it comes to sleeping lately. My days have extended themselves into epic length, crossing at least three different phases of reality in their running.
Gayman lives in an alternate time zone. His sleeping patterns, I believe, have some relation to the phases of the moon. He's often still awake when I get up for work in the morning, but then his phase will eventually sync with reality as we know it and he will take a "normal" bedtime. Then he will go through a phase of being awake earlier and earlier than I am.
So the alternate time zone thing seems to be rubbing off on me. I have a major problem with that, though. I have to get up for work every morning. So I gets reset at 6am daily and I never really complete the phase. My nights are getting later and later, and the wear and tear does not cause me to sleep soundly, just exhaustively.
I've been experimenting with measure to counteract the effects of this phenomena and so far I can report the following approaches that do not work.
#1 - Trying a new pillow will leave you with sore shoulders and a screaming neck. Not only for the rest of the following day. This has the potential to last a few days, causing even more stress at work and a somewhat unhealthy addiction to the chalky goodness of those chewable muscle relaxant tablets....
#2 - Getting plastered enough to pass out into an immoveable state causes the next day to be a total wipeout. Gone. Along with the contents of the stomach. Gone. Along with the contents of the half glass that was sitting on the floor before I drunkenly knocked it over. Gone. Along with the packet of cigarettes I should have rationed myself on, but damn near chain-smoked instead.
#3 - Jerking off before sleep might ensure that you are smiling when you nod off, but by no means does it ensure that you will be smiling when you wake up and realise you have to work.
#4 - Taking your laptop to bed and bathing yourself in it's soothing white light will not cure the insomnial side of the alternate time zone affliction. Undoubtedly you will get caught up in some project editing photographs or have three different philosophical conversations with people on various chat programs, or just stare at your blog blankly and think of absolutely nothing to write.
So. Any other suggestions to beat the pattern?
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3 comments:
You're asking the man who has to scream at his alarms at 4:40 AM every morning and force himself to sleep at nine in the evening when everyone else is going out?
Vic, if anyone lets you in on the secret of sleep, please let me know.
Instead of hitting snooze, jerk off before work.
if i'm going to bed, i literally have to just go to bed. shut the blinds, put the computer away, and turn out the light so the books won't try to entice me. of course i work nights so I don't even get up until quite late anyway... try going to sleep with no distractions and take big deep breaths that feed your brain!
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