Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Dress Shop Hell

I drive past a formal wear shop every day. They change the dresses in their display weekly, so I'm always checking out what's on display. Not for me, mostly. But because I'd like to imagine somebody else in those dresses. I broke the "not for me" ruling a few days ago.

Gayman and I, armed with a camera and a lie, walked into the most unfamiliar territory I have ever been in. There was fluff. There were sequins and shiny things. There were pointy pointy shoes and my mind was screaming to run for shelter. But I had a project.

Hi, I've got a formal dinner dancey thing to go to in January. So what we thought that I'd try on a few different things, and take some photos so we can go home and show the options to my partner.

So do you want a cocktail dress or a gown?

I dunno?

She looks at me in my jeans and t-shirt with bare feet, looks up and down and says:

Well a cocktail dress would probably reach your toes anyway.

It ends up that Gayman runs a few dresses in to me, taking a few sneaky little shots in the changeroom*.

Try this.
And this.



Until I decided that no, I was not cut out for this at all.

*Apologies for the poor quality, but I was not parading in public for a decent shot.

Oh, and the dark blue thing? It's the skirt part of something with a waistcoaty bit. It just reaches up to my neck anyway.

11 comments:

Zoely said...

ok a) the angle is not friendly for taking pix and b) it's not that the dresses don't look GOOD, it's that you look so out of place in them...the whole point of fashion & style is self-expression, not trying to channel someone else. Don't get me wrong, i appreciate the project, but you seem to HAVE a style that works for you...so don't mess with it!
i hope you guys had some laughs!

Ms. Avarice said...

Yeah. Don't mess with what works. If I had to pick one, I'd pick the 2nd blue'n. But don't make me pick. Just go naked. :P

dive said...

Yikes! Frock horror, Vic!
The middle one is definitely the only one that suits you.

Anonymous said...

This is the bridal shop that bridesmaids want to torch.
I'll take you shopping little pixie. And then we shall burn these pics and say something along the lines of voodoo to ensure they never come back.

Stealth said...

Jesus, you brave soul. You couldn't pay me to get into a dress.

Terroni said...

I love the look on your face in the first picture...sort of like "shoot me now"

Vic said...

Zoely - You're right. I don't want to mess with my style. It was for laughs, mainly.

Ms. Avarice - The second blue one was the only one that worked for me, even remotely.

Dive - Gayman doesn't have the right cut for me.

Kate - Take me shopping, babe. You've got a hell of a lot more of a clue than a gay man and non-girly type.

Stealth - Welcome! There should be a charity set up to never see me in dress again.

Terroni - That was the first dress I tried on, and exactly the point where I realised that this was not going to be as easy as I thought. Shoot me now is exactly right.

Vixen said...

You rock. Seriously. And this part:

There was fluff. There were sequins and shiny things. There were pointy pointy shoes...

Crack me up. We are so the polar opposites. ;)

So....have you found anything for your thing?

Bunny said...

You look quite lovely in a dress, actually. But I understand the aversion. If you really do have to go to a dress-up event, wear a pair of silk trousers and a dressy top. You'll fit right in with no problem and you won't be so uncomfortable as you would be in dress.

Vic said...

Vixen - The whole idea was a fabrication. It was a way to get a few giggles on a lazy, rainy afternoon. I had my exposure to fluff, sequins and shiny things when I was a kid and dragged along to ballet classes. I quite happliy got over it then for myself. But... I do appreciate it on people that it suits...

Bunny - one day, I will have to go to a dress-up event and it will scare the hell out of me. Luckily that isn't any time soon!

-tnchick- said...

I really like the first blue dress but I think the second one looks better on ya =)