I'm short of breath. For the last few days I've been gasping periodically. Physical work is difficult.
I've been binge eating and then feeling as if I could vomit. I just eat, and eat more. I don't need it. I just think of it, and can't stop thinking of it. The thing is... that vomit feeling persists for days. My stomach is unsettled a lot of the time. And I'm putting on weight, which does not help me with being outgoing and active. A bad cycle to lead myself into.
My gums have been bleeding for weeks. It doesn't seem to have gotten any better even after instigating the three times daily mouthwash routine combined with a new, harder toothbrush. I spit red, and I mean bright red, every time.
I haven't been sleeping enough.
I haven't got enough sun or exercise for a long time. I haven't had the time or the energy.
So here's the temporary remedy for today. A swag (yes they exist outside of the song Waltzing Matilda) in the sun for a couple of hours. Until I have to teach. And then brave the four-day onslaught of my parents visiting, the gig that I have to be at to be supportive and the fifteen or so songs that I've given myself to learn.
16 comments:
Vic hon, I am so sorry you are feeling under the weather. I can relate babe. If I were closer we could go knock back a few and I could wow you with the fact I know all the words to waltzing matilda. Btw, for some reason I can't comment on your half nekkedness below...or I would have. I dig that picture! Can I join you next week and get half naked too?
Ok little one listen up.
Good for you for recognising an emerging pattern of bad for you behaviour creeping in.
Number one - get yourself to a dentist to check the bleeding gums. Dentists may be the all time bummer but better to check.
Number two - eating for no reason. Ask yourself whats really wrong?
Binge eating then feeling sick afterwards - theres a word for that. Living in such an extreme climate the way you do its easy to let the excuses pile up, its too cold, its too hot blah blah.
What does Vic want?
What does Vic want to be?
And once you've worked that out we'll all help you work out how to achieve it.
Take it from an old bulimic who punished her body and her mind for years, its not a path you want to go down.
Much love and hugs. xoxoxox
I was going to say something, but it looks like Dr. Kate has got ya covered.
So...I'll just send hugs.
Hang in there, friend.
Kate is so right, Vic.
Dentists aren't just there to cause pain.
And binge-eating will only give you a body like mine, and believe me you don't want that!
Find yourself some space to let the Groover back in. And if needs be, kick out and offend people to get that space.
oh..
I found you!
get a water pic..they rock ..
i use mine a lot ..
I'm a terrible binge-y type o' girl ..
is this new behavior ?
see a doc and get a physical, just so you can rule out any illess..
aww punkin..everythings going to be okay
*hug* from the other side of the world! <3
Nina. Thanks mate, it would be awesome to knock back a few with you. And why on earth do you know all the words to Waltzing
Matilda?
As for HNT - go right ahead! I find it a challenge every week to find some aspect of myself that I am happy to display to the world. It's a good thing.
Kate. Thankyou so much for your concerns and your advice, and of course the love and hugs. I'll try to keep an eye on myself.
Terroni. Dr Kate indeed has it covered. Thanks for the hugs!
Dive, your comment makes me cry for the Groover that has disappeared lately. You're so right, and I hadn't realised that that particular part of me was missing.
Cynnie, welcome. I don't understand what you mean in "get a water pic" - sorry.
But you're right, everything eventually will be okay.
and finally, Ms. Avarice, a pleasure to recieve hugs from you!
a water pik..
dang..
it's a thingy that shoots out a fine spray of water to get the crap out of between your teeth ..
very good for your gums.
is this just an usa thing ?
I've tried finding them for friends in the UK and no luck ..
oh well..
yeah, but before it gets better..
its always dark and fucking dreary
I've never heard of them, Cynnie. We just have floss here, as far as I know. But to be honest I don't spend much time in the dental innovations aisle...
As for it always being dark and dreary before it gets better... Well, I've got some stuff to work out that's been playing on my mind, but I don't think it's entirely to blame for the bad health. It's going to have to be a step by step thing to look at each problem and work my way back to the old Groover.
Getting out in the sun more is a great idea =). I know sunshine helps me, I'm much happier as an outdoorsy type worker than I ever was in the office, or studying.
As for helpful advice all I can think of is follow kate's advice, and maybe start taking a multi-vitamin, or try and get more 'good' foods in as well, as binge eating, especially sugars, can be due to a lack in the diet.
Good-luck matey!
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