I sat down last night to practise some serious classical guitar. Practise of that type, for me, represents an intense need for escapism. I can potentially focus on technical work with a metronome for hours at a time. Although there is a gain involved, I do it for the total focus on that one task that closes the door to any other bullshit that may be going on.
I realised that I haven’t done practise like that for months, or with any regularity for years. Since the days of living with my boyfriend. I do a stint every now and then, but I my focus with respect to guitar seems to be circular. I go through a steel-string phase, then a jazz phase, then a song-writing phase, and whatever takes my fancy. Eventually my focus comes knocking back on the classical door.
Frustratingly, my ear has improved continually over this time. My ability is far behind it and that session of practise was far less of a release than it should have been. So many times I berated myself for not being able to do what I could hear. If I did not value my instrument so highly I would have been wearing it around my knee.
Is this my fate? It seems that I cannot focus enough to achieve my full potential in any one area because there’s so much else to do, so much else to occupy my attention. Am I doomed to mediocrity because of my own diversity?
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8 comments:
You vic are the antithesis of mediocrity.
One trick ponies are boring.
oxox
nina
Yeah...that thing Nina said. ;>
I used to play the piano with a metronome for hours. Now that was mediocre. Unfortunately, I don't have much of an ear.
When Michelangelo finished his statue of David he stood back and saw that he had achieved the perfect sculpture. He then lifted his chisel and cut off the nose. When he was questioned as to why he would desecrate perfection, he answered: that if he had achieved it then he would have nothing to work toward and would never make another.
Musicians are artists and there is a constant frustration all artists share, what ever medium they choose to express their creativity in. That is, that their perceived concept of their work will never be what is created. Take this as a blessing to help you strive toward it and the measure of your success how close it is to what you have imagined.
The fragility of the human design is that it is designed to make error. Therefore, flaws are the measure of humanity and perfection is divine.
So as an artist, raise your target high and keep staving for that goal but celebrate your imperfections as your measure of humanity. Your measure of success is how narrow those flaws become and your motivation is the drive to perfection. Remembering always, the day you achieve it is the day you will never need to play another note.
I don't have any advice for you, but I love your blog, and you really are an inspiration!
For goodness sake, Groover, you're still a kid!
I'm still frustrated and unsatisfied with my playing and I hit fifty this year. If I can play one single bar in an entire gig that impresses me then I'm happy.
Perfection is over-rated.
Striving for it, however, rocks.
Just think how good you'll be at my age.
*laughing imagining your face when you read Dive's, "you're still a kid."*
Vic, you are NOT Jane Austen's Emma.
You are not mediocre and you know it. I am so jealous of your ability... your love and dedication to music. I will kick your butt if I ever hear that nonsense again.
I could say so much here but I think you know it all already. If not, just trust me that you'll be fine.
having not heard you play, i can't argue about how good you are =)
but i can say that less than perfect is not the same as mediocre. (personally, i aspire to be mediocre at everything ;)
Hey Vic
I find myself returning to classical quite a bit, however only for a few brief moments. I think I do this only because the music im into can become a tad repetitive...
I joined an orchestra: that sucked. I hated it (for many other reasons apart from its un organisation). But it doesn’t mean I don’t like classical. Perhaps classical can be seen purely as an escape (as you noted), or as a technical thingy magigy you can use to improve technique used in other styles of music.
I don’t think you would have as many people who like you as you do now, if you were only great at one thing.
BORING.
You're awesome.
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