Dear Anonymous,
You're persistent in your misinterpretation of me, and I'm beginning to admire it. Perhaps the misinterpretation is mutual. Words are fickle things.
I wrote Is this the lesbian equivalent to girls saying that the guy they picked up couldn't get it up? and you responded, as you have every right to, in this public space. I'm a little disappointed that you will not put a name to your opinion, but that is your choice, as it is my choice to allow anonymous comments in this space.
My question does refer to erectile dysfunction in a way - an insinuation that I could not perform due to intoxication. It is also a way for the other party to cover up for rejection, as you mentioned also -
"To explain your question, there here are the standard reasons a woman would give that insult:
1) To justify sleeping with someone and regretting it
2) that they guy did in fact have erectile dysfunction
3) to cover up that she had been rejected by the guy and that he said no, which does happen"
So. I don't fall into category number one, because it didn't happen. But the other two? Yes. In an equivalent way. However, you say that it is not an equivalent. I'm intrigued. Why? A lot of the things I write about are generated from my feelings, and I was trying to find a simile to express the indignation and hurt I felt at hearing this rumour. I cannot say outright that the feeling IS that of a male being subjected to the he couldn't get it up rumour because I won't presume to know what it is like. I'm just looking for similarities here.
I keep going back to my inbox to read the last paragraph of your last comment:
"To answer your message to me on the next post, home is where the heart is and I hoped you enjoyed your sleep while reading this. I wish you all the luck in the world in finding where ever fortune my see you settle. As long as you are surrounded by people that appreciate you for being nothing but yourself, then you are home."
It's a truly gorgeous answer to my question, and I thank you for it. You might be a little cutting and opinionated at times, Anonymous, but I think I like you. Stick around, and I hope that someday we will be able to be on equal terms and address each other by name, as I'd like to thank you personally for those words.
Cheers,
Vic
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Dear Vic,
I’m not sure whether you are continuing with your sarcasm with the title of your post or not but for now am taking it at face value. I am not a blogger so therefore cannot put a name to my comments; in fact I am not really sure how this thing works. I feel that there may be a difference in your implied meaning and the actual facts presented in the post. I regret that you feel you feel that I may be “cutting and opinionated at times”, but let me say, in my defense, I was only working on the facts presented and not some hidden implied meaning that others who you either know, or you are regularly chatting with, would have gotten from it. You will find that I directly quoted you and gave my reactions to those quotes so that I could not be misinterpreted in my response.
To answer your first question on equivalence, “you say that it is not an equivalent”, is due to the limited information you gave in your post. Your argument stems from, and I quote, “I hear rumour that people were told that I passed out. Not that I said no thankyou”. I can only gather you take that rumor as “it would have happened if Vic wasn’t so drunk”, that, in it’s self, is a direct equivalent that can be used by either sex on any potential partner. But you chose to use a “hetro” equivalent,” Is this the lesbian equivalent to girls saying that the guy they picked up couldn't get it up?” Being a male, I have not only been victim of this rumor but know it as device women employ to belittle a man.
There is a conflict on the omission of detail by the rumor's instigator; I will concede point 3 “to cover up that she had been rejected by the guy”” may” seem to apply but it falters because you have taken offence to being called a drunk and the instigator. but she has admitted that there was no sexual act, but not because you declined it. Point one we both agree does not apply but point two we will differ. You are not a male and, therefore, will never know the indignation of erectile dysfunction unless (and I am being facetious) one of your sex toys unexpectedly goes limp. But point two only comes into play if you tred and physically could not consumte a sexual act. I am asumming, that you were physically able to have sex with her.
I didn’t expect this to be another long post but it seems to be trending that way. I did try to put a balanced argument forward and show how your actions contributed to the rumor. Please don’t take this as a judgment call on you; it was not intended that way. I was only playing Devil’s Advocate and pointing out that staying was not a “typical” male thing to do given, you wanted to use a male slimily. I do like that term “Devil’s Advocate” and see if I can sign off that way so that you will know who I am if I ever reply again.
Finally, and I know that you and other readers are saying “Thank god”, I gather that you are moving in the subsequent post. I don’t know the reasons surrounding it, only that I never wished you ill will. As you said “in this public space”, I am sure you will come across ideas that conflict with your own. I do congratulate you for being open minded enough to allow anonymous commenter’s like my self and taking the time to acknowledge them. I meant no offence in my comments but only a balanced view on the facts presented.
I wish you well in you endeavors, Vic.
Dear Devil's Advocate,
Indeed, I am not continuing with my sarcasm in the post title.
Thankyou for choosing an identity (I like it, it's a well chosen name) and also a very warm thankyou for your well wishes.
Master the Blogger thing - I want to read your opinions not just in relation to mine. At least I would like to see more of you in the future.
Cheers,
Vic
Post a Comment