How to make a Beach Pig (with wings)

Ingredients:
1 Cruiseydyke*
1 Gayman*
1 Vic*
1 generous portion of beach
Good weather

[* note: These ingredients are available in a prepackaged form marketed under the title "The House That Gay Built"]

Method:
Preheat weather to a medium-hot 28 degrees celcius.
Remove Cruiseydyke, Gayman and Vic from The House That Gay Built packaging. Marinate them in a car with no radio for two and a half hours. At this point add them to the generous portion of beach. Combine all ingredients and mix well.
Allow to bake for a while, and then cool in the ocean.