The Monday Melee

Now let us all gather here on this lovely fine Autumn day to celebrate the Monday Melee for another week.

1. The Misanthtropic: Name something you absolutely hate.
Councils that leave seemingly all their roadworks until this part of the year, and then make sure that they’ve spent their entire budget before the end of the financial year. The usual allotment of time to get somewhere in this town has to be doubled because you’re sent on a meandering backtrack of detours and one-way sections of road.

2. The Meretricious: Expose something or someone that’s phony, fraudulent or bogus.
”Fresh” produce. Some of the stock I sell comes from South Australia or further. It’s then transported to a fruit market in Brisbane, stored and then sold to the people I work for, who transport it for a further day back to the shop. It goes on the shelves the next day, and is stored for at least another three days until the next delivery. I love selling and dealing with produce – but real fresh food is another world entirely.

3. The Malcontent: Name something you’re unhappy with.
Little Groover’s state of flea infestation. We thought we’d got rid of a lot of them from when we picked her up but the poor thing has become a breeding ground, meaning the entire house has to be bombed and she’s going to get daily kitty baths until they’re eradicated once and for all. The poor, ugly kitty got washed yesterday and quite of her awful freeloading occupants decided to bail out and find better homes within our house. Not cool.

4. The Meritorious: Give someone credit for something and name it if you can.
Gayman takes the cake yet again. I can bitch about him sometimes but the gorgeous lad met all my students at the gate last Thursday and told them I was too sick to teach. He made sure he got hold of them before the parents drove off so that they wouldn’t be left outside waiting for half an hour in our somewhat dubious neighbourhood. All I had the energy to do was leave a note on the door, and it really wasn’t his responsibility to do anything. Absolutely gorgeous. He also wanted to clean out my bedside bucket, but like it was going to get that personal.

5. The Mirror: See something good about yourself and name it.
I love the ‘boylook’ thing. I really do. I believe I carry on a lot about it here, but hell I don’t have to read about it, I just write it. A photographer on the weekend got someone to get in the shot while I was drumming with a just get right in close behind him. He came up after the piece was finished to get my name and I said Vic. He asked if it was short for Victor and I said No, just Vic.

6. The Make-Believe: Name something you wish for.
Intravenous coffee.