Saturday, March 7, 2009

Ugh.

Hand Studies I


I'm touring out to my psych's office this morning armed with a list of things I want to do this week and also this month. Also, with a bit of evidence of having started to try to do these things. I'm scared, because her knowing these things will place an expectation on me to actually do them (in my own mind) and therefore an expectation to do them well (also in my own mind).

I'm also petrified that I will be sent to hospital for psych treatment and not allowed out.

Irrational? Yes. Maybe.

Can I stop it? I'm trying, but my mind isn't backing down really easily.

Some days are really good.

Some days are shit.

Maybe I should enrol in a horticulture course. Perhaps learning how shit can work as a fertiliser will make this all a little easier!

For now, though. There's happiness in there. It might be tiny sometimes, but it's still worth finding and holding onto.

4 comments:

Kel said...

i like this pic

Kel said...

I also admire your courage....learning something new always helps!!!

miss you xox

Katherine Buckley said...

Doin great mate. Life's always a journey.. with good bits and bad bits, boring bits and exciting bits. The best thing is you never know what is around the corner so just keep driving and remember that what ever comes up you have the steering wheel.

EspressoHead said...

An equation.

Some days are really good.
+
Some days are shit.
=
life?

Im not sure myself. Good luck with it all.