Thursday, December 25, 2008

Love is all I have

Merry Christmas to everybody.

Today several things of note happened to me.

I tried unsuccessfully to contact my mother who didn't answer the phone. This is unusual and somewhat hard to deal with considering the effort it took to bring myself to make the call.

After the once-a-year text message I found out that my mate Jesus is in town. How very appropriate for Christmas. He has a kick-arse voice maybe I will be able to work my way into the music industry here with somebody I can trust instead of the idiot types I got burned by at the start of the year.

A friend told me that she has been in hospital for two months because she is bipolar and stopped taking her medication. The woman I love and would do anything for flirts with this mental minefield daily and I am consequently scared to death about it, for her sake.

I realise with great clarity that I am shithouse at being a friend to those who are grieving. A mate's wife is in hospital dying and all I could say is Oh shit. Hell. My heart goes out to you. Vic, you idiot. That kind of talk doesn't equate to being there for your friends. It shows them that you have absolutely no idea what to do to help.

I have so much love to give that some days I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest and explode like fireworks - but the fuse is a dud and nobody appreciates a dud firework. All that magic is just locked inside and lacking the fuse, the eloquence, the spark that sets it on fire and lets it out free to explode and be there for the world to enjoy.

All I can say is Merry Christmas. Hope you have a good day.

And I love you.

3 comments:

dive said...

Merry Christmas, Vic!
I love you, too, as you well know.
Believe me, everybody around you appreciates you more than you know. Self-doubt doesn't suit you; you are gorgeous, astonishingly talented, great fun and a wonderful friend; you rock so hard it gives me shivers on the opposite side of the planet.
So chill for the rest of the holiday and just enjoy being you.
And keep posting because I need you.

Vic said...

Hey Dive.

Massive hugs from the from my end of the planet - the warm and sweaty arse end - to the freezing cold nipple end that you're situated on.

Kate has already came in, slapped me and told me in a terrible fake english accent that I have to get back to posting for you. Sometimes you just have to walk away and go without to appreciate what you're missing.

So I'm back with a little more Aussie drivel to warm your currently frosty soul with. Missed you heaps,
Vic

dive said...

The feeling's mutual, Vic.
I'm glad you're back.