I am on a quest. It is very important, and potentially very fulfilling on a daily, personal level. The quest will be frustrating as I requires me to obtain perfection in a tactile form, however I do not yet specifically know what form perfection will take. Many times I will see something that is close, but will need to be left by the wayside because it is flawed in some way. I will reject many in search of the one. Yes, there can only be one.
I will have to beat my way through jungles of children in discount shops. I will have to use my senses, staying alert for the stench of Dencorub that warns the presence of nursing home escapees who find refugee in these places alongside the children. I will need to be agile, even a contortionist, to squeeze past the fat bastards looking at the cheap, shitty chocolate. I will steel myself against the inevitable intolerant anger at the bunch of asians arguing noisily in their own language over the last two dollar frying pan. I will remain focused on my goal.
My quest may take from the dangerous slums of the discount shop aisles to more delicate but equally dangerous surrounds - the boutique kitchen shop. Cat-footed, I will make my way through the too-close shelves lined with expensive bakeware. I will laugh at the frustration of the saleswoman behind the counter - she will be wanting to keep her eyes on me, but will keep losing me behind the shelves that are higher than my head. My horror at the fifty-two dollar price tag on the toothpick holder will be contained to an inner snigger. I will easily dismiss the Jamie Oliver and Gordon Ramsay signature designs. I may be briefly distracted by the now discounted Nigella Lawson signature lines, but I will find strength and dismiss the pastel faffery in favour of my higher goal, my object of perfection.
No more being "Ms. Bitch" for me. I will no longer be "Quietly Plotting My Revenge". My object of perfection will be the one I wake up to every morning, warming me, snuggling into my hands, giving me strength for the day.
My quest... to find the ultimate coffee mug.
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7 comments:
Har! I don't think I've ever been so humored, outside of Christmas shopping horror stories, over a shopping quest. I hate all kinds of shopping even to the extent I would settle for any old mug that worked.
I almost said good company makes it less painful but, truth be told, good company turns bad in a shopping mall :-D
Yikes, Groover! I've spent forty-nine years on the same grail quest and not even come close.
I wish you luck. Legend has it that such a thing exists but I have scoured the world for decades and the quest has left me broken and embittered.
I pass the torch to you.
May the force be with you.
i heart you, vic =)
Damn, here Th' Cap'n was thinkin' ye be talkin' about Her Self - especially that last line.
Damn.
JC - I had a dream mug once, and it was broken by a flatmate accidentally. Once you find the right feel, it is hard to go back to any old mug.
You're so right about good company in a shopping mall.
Dive - Master, I will not fail you.
Lady Brett - likewise, hun.
Cap'n - Do not be disappointed there, a mug search is not the only quest a person will be on in a lifetime.
True that... once you find the right feel for anything it's hard to go back for any old...
That being the case I wish you all the best luck in the world in your quest.
And... don't dis the luck part... once you've lost the right feel for anything it's hard to get it back, too.
I've been there, Vic. And sadly, I've given up. I searched and searched and it was all more crap. Now, I drink out of one of two mugs I got for free at the bank. It's that bad.
I wish you luck in your difficult quest. Godspeed, mate.
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