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What do you do when you are hyped, nervous and unable to sleep? When you've spent hours playing guitar in order to unwind into that peculiar meditational state that practise brings on, but your jaw is still tense and painful and your mind has only slowed a little? What do you do when you've been flip-arranging yourself into a ball of sheets and pillows and legs for hours with the litany of fuck it, I NEED to sleep to be able to function properly tomorrow?

That's right - you turn to your laptop with the glorified coathanger internet connection and you think you might write a blog post.

What the fuck happens next?

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Life is an absolute arse sometimes.

I'm off to look at porn. Possibly I will fall asleep from disinterest. Or, the coathanger connection will die completely - in which case I believe the modem will be a fantastic piece of modern art once it embeds itself at high velocity in my bedroom wall and I'll be back where I started.