Reality usually reduces that to one simple sentence.
"I'm never going to drink again."
However, I face another New Year's Eve of not drinking and instead falling asleep on the lounge in front of the television. In previous years I have played in front of drunken mobs of idiots, wishing I could join the throng in order to not witness the tragedy from under the bright lights of sobriety. This time around I've got to work a nasty long shift New Year's Eve, and a 4am start isn't particularly condusive to partying after work.
So what will be the focus of my lounge-bound life-altering resolutions?
Up Yours, All Right
That's it. Whatever way I can find to say Fuck You, This is ME I want to embrace and try it out.
Hey, something's gotta work. This past year I've been run down by the people I trusted, I've given myself more the enough knocks of my own doing, chance has given me some dodgey turns and frankly I didn't want to come out of it alive.
Why? I think I got so caught up in wanting to be wanted that I lost sight of the real me. The sometimes funny, intelligent musician who had a genuine love of seeing new things and finding wonder in the world. I want it back. Fuck you, this is ME.
And if you can't hack it...
Don't bother sticking around.
2 comments:
love you loads..so refreshing to see you want whats best for you!!
You ARE wanted, Vic. That funny, intelligent musician has been sorely missed this past year so bring it on in 2010.
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