Pisshead

Cigarettes in this country come with a warning label by law. A series of government warnings that say such things as
SMOKING KILLS
and SMOKING WHEN PREGNANT HARMS YOUR BABY.
When the warnings first came out, a lot of guys I knew would only buy the packets with that last warning on them.

I indulged in a moderate night of drinking last night. I can remember everything, I didn’t make an idiot of myself, and I went to bed before I was anywhere near sloshed. I even had the presence of mind to drink a shitload of water before thinking of going to bed. In the aftermath I have a dehydration hangover from hell. I’ve drunk litre after litre of water and I feel like I have mutated into a piece of sandstone. Why so bad today when it appears I did all the right things?

Red wine.

I think it should come with a government warning label also. Something like
RED WINE WILL DEHYDRATE YOU
or THE CONTENTS OF THIS BOTTLE WILL CAUSE YOUR BODY TO HAVE THE PROPERTIES OF A POROUS STONE
or perhaps a more simple warning of REMEMBER THE LAST TIME?.

This could extend to cartons of beer also.
FRIDAY NIGHT? AS IF YOU’RE GOING TO TAKE IT SLOW!!!
Others could be labelled with
WARNING: POSSESSION OF A CARTON MAY CAUSE YOU TO EXPECT OTHERS TO DRINK WITH YOU.