Location: Big-arse orchard in the middle of nowhere
Parties involved: Vic, orchard ladder, pear tree and approximately 20kg of pears in the picking bag strapped to Vic's chest.
Description of events: Vic mounts second highest rung of ladder in attempt to get bitchy pear from top of tree.
Ladder makes a leisurely exit toward the right of the picker, Vic.
Vic extends arms toward branches to the left and right and attempts to coax the orchard ladder to stay upright for just a minute longer.
Ladder disagrees and makes for the ground.
Vic hangs by arms long enough to squeeze out two perfectly clear swear words - Shit! .... FUCK!
Vic realises the only way is down and loses her grip on the tree.
Picker Vic finishes the plummet on her back, surrounded by pears from the bag on her chest and quite a few that got raked down by her outstretched arms, contemplating adopting the raking as a new tree stripping technique because damn it got the fruit off quick
Vic was relatively unharmed by the incident, scratches but no bruises.
Conclusion: Vic wishes for gauntlets.
5 comments:
So I'm sending gauntlets, a first aid kit, your mail and reading material to you am I?
How about I just send you a six foot tall guy to pick for you. I like it far better when my girl has her feet firmly on the ground and not flailing around a fucking fruit tree.
Who said fruit was good for you?
Ouch!
That's gotta sting!
Poor you, Vic. Are there any nice girls there who could kiss that better for you?
Dearest! I hope that wasn't your good arm! <3 Have some balm on your scratches and take a break!
Since you didn't bust your ass or break your neck (lucky on you), you'll forgive (or not) that I LOL at the image you drew in my head...
Take care!
Kate - I have a first aid kit. Right now I need a portable lightning rod, too. Can you mail one of those to me? We got pulled off the orchard because the lightning was too close today. Fruit is extremely good for you, since I have begun to resemble a pear in smell. The stuff is becoming a part of my skin....
Dive - the nice girl I want to kiss it better for me is at home contemplating mailing me gauntlets. *grin
Ms. Avarice - Unfortunately I can't take a break because our meals and accommodation are taken out of our wages. If I don't work hard, I make a loss.
JC - I'm glad I made you laugh. I was hoping to tell it so people could see the funny side. I wish I'd seen it from outside of my body, it would have made me laugh, too!
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